Transparency is very important in marriage. Its characteristics include the confession of all sins that can offend the other partner. This is because when people enter into marriage, they make vows that bind one to be accountable to the other. They do so before God and the witnesses of the event. In all weddings, an uninvited witness is the devil who also monitors progress in your love life.
In marriage, there often comes a need for one to confess to the other. Confessing your sins to your spouse in an act of righteousness as recorded in James 5:16. However, it still is important to confess your sins to God because it is the only way you can be purified in your spirit (1 John 1:9).
Avoiding the need to confess
It is not easy to confess your wrongs to another person, let alone sexual sins. Therefore, it is wise to avoid circumstances that may lead you to fall into the sin of adultery. Just like Jesus taught us how to pray, ‘lead us not into temptation’ (Matthew 6:13). If you are married, do not make friends with people of the opposite sex, particularly those of the same age groups. However, ages are not much of a barrier on sexual matters and therefore the best thing is to avoid unnecessary friendships.
It is undeniable that you can see and sense someone who is attracted to you. Similarly, you know when you are attracted to another person who is not your spouse. You have to act in a manner that will not invoke actions that will result in adultery, whether in the short run or in a long time. Christians have been forewarned that the devil is at work, knowing that his time is very limited. It is within your power to control your love life. Seek assistance from God in prayer if you feel like you are struggling to deal with the temptation. Surely you are better of dealing with a temptation that the sin of adultery.
When you are under pressure for an extra marital affair, it is time for you to strengthen your relationship with your spouse. There are many ways you can revive your love life. It includes planning for quality time where you will have time to communicate and discuss issues extensively. You could go for a holiday, a drive or a dinner out for the evening.
Wisdom in confessing your sins
Sexual sins are many and at the top of the list is adultery. Adultery is the major source of division in marriages yet if it is case addressed with decency, its effects can be minimised. One way to help contain the undesired consequences of adultery is confession. I know that the devil will want to deceive you into believing that such an act is very stupid – do not listen to the devil.
Confession is Biblical in at least two ways;
- It is an act of restitution because you are dealing with a promise or vow that you made but failed to fulfil.
It is an expression of love and transparency. You never want to fool a person you love but you want him/her to be in the light of everything going on in your relationship.
- The Bible teaches that married people are one. What the other feels and desires should be known to the other. When you share your failures, your are actually inviting your partner to help you fight your battles. It also helps in sharing the burden of the consequences from the fall. Whenever you have to confess your adulterous encounter, you must have prayed for your spouse and everyone who may be affected for strength to withstand the news.
You may have to seek advise from your spiritual leaders on how you can inform your partner and everybody else who is affected in a neat way. You have to do so with wisdom. Never take the advise of keep it a secrete from anyone because you will remain guilty for as long as you have not confessed.
Trust me when I say that it wont be easy but God will be your strength and He will provide protection as you go through the process of confessing your sin. Confession is a condition of entering Heaven. Heaven is not to be missed at all cost, by all means.
Healing that comes with confession is unexplainable. If you ask those that have done so to their spouses, they will attest to this claim.
I offer prayer for you if you want to take the step of confessing to your partner about an adulterous sin you committed. I can share my honest thoughts on how you can do it neatly. Do not shun away from your spiritual leader on such matters.
Be courageous and take the leap of faith. Probably your spouse is already suspecting such that your action will be welcome. Therefore, do not let your spouse collect all the evidence against you when you can offer the information and win back your marriage. Don’t take too long before you sort this issue. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Inspired by Reverend Matsenjwa’s lesson on ‘Rekindling your love in marriage“.