Humans are sexual beings by nature and this fact should not be taken for granted. A man is wired differently from a woman. Generally, as a person grows up, his or her sexual appetite also grows. The indicators are the obvious signs of puberty for both males and females. This therefore makes sexuality part of our lives and therefore requires special attention.
God has said a lot about sexuality in the Bible to guide mankind through the lifetime journey as sexual beings. 1 Corinthians 7 Verse 9 says, ‘But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. Self-control is the keyword here yet there is no measure for it to help the next person realise how exposed he or she is to harassment. This therefore leads me to conclude that the best thing is to trust no one but guard yourself not to be a victim of someone that has poor self-control. Furthermore, guard yourself not to be a sexual offender to others.
Trust me, I don’t have to consult with anyone to write on sexual matters because I also am a sexual being, a married man and I have had challenges with some sexually related matters.
Tips for the believer
- Get married. 1 Corinthians 7 from verse 1 says, ‘Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
This is an opportune time for me to remind the unmarried that sex is not theirs. Sex is to be enjoyed by the married only. The married are also to remain faithful to each other until death. No remarriage is allowed according to the Bible.
- Don’t dress in a way that will lure others into sexual immorality. There are campaigns to promote freedom in dress code, especially for woman, and these are against the will of God. In Kenya, there is a woman’s movement called ‘My Dress, My Choice’. This is not the kind of campaign a Christian should associate with. Necked dressing is not for the believer and should you be responsible for leading someone into temptation, God counts it on you as sin (Luke 17:1).
- Guard yourself from the lust of the eyes. Man and woman alike have some weaknesses on sexual matters. Both males and females have countless times come out clearly confessing that they have a problem of addiction to pornography. Watching pornography is sin before god. It is often said that man get affected a lot more by what they see while woman respond faster to touching but it does not mean that the reverse is not true. The eyes are the window to the soul.
- Trust no one. Do not give room to anyone to tap into your sexual buttons. Man can be tactical to lead a woman into sexual fantasy without realising it. The Bible records the story of Amnon and Tamar in the book of 2 Samuel 13. I wish woman were cautious and sensitive on matters of sex as much man are. In this chapter, we learn how Tamar was so careless not to notice the slightest signs of lust from Amnon her brother. Amnon took advantage of her slack behaviour and finally raped her.
I would like to give examples of how woman often get careless in sexual matters.
- When wearing a skirt, avoid letting man sit on the passenger sit when driving. Even when the skirt is not short when standing but when you sit on the driver’s sit, the skirt pulls up and exposes more of the thighs.
- When taking photos, avoid close contact with males. It does not matter the location, time and environment you are in, avoid getting in physical contact with man if you are a woman. Males are so sexually sensitive that a slight careless move has a great impact on them. Pauses that include cheek touches, hand holding, holding each other in any body parts, lifting and kissing should be avoided at all times. A small seed of sexual interest may grow to be an undesirable activity if not
Samson is another example of a man that was careless and sold his life for trusting a woman that was sexually tactful. A good example of someone that refused to trust a woman that could not control her sexual desires is Joseph.
- Pray for wisdom. Even the smartest person can be tricked but God will lead the steps of a righteous man. Righteousness is maintained through prayer. Show me a Christian that is righteous and I will show you a prayer warrior.
Sexual temptations and sins know no limits. You are a witness to that not only David of old was trapped into adultery but many others did. The internet is full of reports of well-known pastors, bishops and preachers that have been overpowered by sexual sins. There are many other easy to hide sexual sins including masturbation, foul language and body gestures that defile the believer.
School children even from pre and primary schools have also been reported on sexually related offenses. Never take for granted the power of sexuality in you. Let God be your strength and seek of Him at all times.